Friday, April 25, 2008

Obligatory Summer Movie Preview Post

Because I have a blog, and because I like movies, I feel obligated to join the masses in saying what movies look good and what movies don't. I'm dividing the movies into various categories which are showing me

You Had Me At Teaser Trailer

Iron Man - I already have my ticket.

Standard Operating Procedure - I found out about two weeks after it happened that this played at the AFI Film Festival in Dallas. I am still steamed about this. Errol Morris needs to get as much of the world's money as possible. He does good things with it, like make movies.

Batman Begins Again... er... Batman: The Dark Knight
- My problem with Christopher Nolan is that he thinks he is a genius when he is merely very clever. His art films are overly smug and pretentious. However, when he just sets out to do a big dumb summer blockbuster action film, he knocks it out of the park.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - You had me at the first announcement of the first press release. Sorry. I am a sucker.

Wall*E - You had me at "untitled Pixar 2008 project." Sorry. I am a sucker.

You Need Positive Word-of-Mouth to Get Me to Go to the Theater

Red Belt - I like the fact that Mamet keeps jumping around genres but remaining essentially Mamet.

Tropic Thunder - I am of the opinion that I don't need to like Ben Stiller because he loves himself enough for both of us. And while this sort of humor normally bothers me, Robert Downey Jr.'s blackface character managed to make me laugh.

Hancock - The teaser trailer left me totally cold. The 'American Idol' preview left me with an impression that this one might actually have a story instead of a series of action-oriented set pieces. Plus, I like the whole idea of equating super heroes with cantankerous sports figures.

Hamlet 2
- I normally don't like films that are loved at Sundance, but this has potential.

You Are One with Netflix

Hellboy 2 - I liked Hellboy, but really hated Pan's Labyrinth. This seems like it will be more of the latter and less of the former.

Get Smart - I don't watch movies based on old television shows. Its a principle thing. (And no, Batman doesn't count because it is based on the comics. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.)

The Spirit - When I saw Sin City, about halfway through the movie, I said to myself, "This is just like the comics. I forgot how much I hate the comics."

Wanted - I really liked Night Watch and sort of tolerated most of Day Watch. But, seriously, this looks like a string of action set pieces with little-to-no story connecting them.

Only if Someone Offers Me Beer

Baby Mama - Seriously people, if you hire Tina Fey as an actress, you also need to hire her to do a script rewrite. Poor word-of-mouth killed this one for me.

Pineapple Express - Read the screenplay thanks to the power of the internet. Not my thing.

Hulk - I am still smarting from the first Hulk movie. Man, that Super Bowl trailer for the first Hulk movie was AWESOME, when Hulk was all THUMPA-DA THUMPA-DA THUMPA-DA and he grabbed the tank by the little tank snout and went WHISSSHEEEE WHOSSSSHHEEEE and spun it around and threw it in the air and the tank was like, "Whoooooaaaaaa! I'm flying, Jack!" Ok, THAT was awesome. I wanted to see the Hulk movie so bad. And then... I saw it. It is what it is, but it was not what I was wanting or expecting. And this is terrible, but when I saw the trailer for this film, all I could think of was, "The Hulk and the Abomination have such huge bodies and such tiny heads."

X-Files - Chris Carter used up my three-strikes-and-you're-out policy almost a decade ago.

The Happening - As much as I love your first initial, M. Night, The Village was strike three.

Speed Racer - As much as I like Wes Anderson, I do not like the trend of "Art Direction and Set Design equals story" that seems to have sprung up in his wake. Oh, and that scene in The Matrix where Trinity says, "I knew you were The One because I love you." Yeah... THAT was Strike One. Guess how your next two movies held up.

Sisterhood of the Mama Traveling Sex in the Mia Pants City Part 2! - I am not the target audience for this.

The Love Guru - No.


NoRegrets said...

I want to go see movies. One or two you put on your must see I hadn't hear about, so I will try them out. I'm too lazy to watch the youtube stuff though. Or, maybe it's more that I'm at a place of work so must work!

Tera said...

Hmmm...probably won't be going to see any new movies with the gas prices the way they are. I'll just have to wait until they're 3 for $10 at the Barber Shop!

Gyuss Baaltar said...

Iron Man
Goo and I have a hot date for this one on Friday. I can't wait. Robert Downey jr plays a a rich self-absorbed a-hole with substance abuse issues? How can it miss?

Batman: The Dark Knight
I thought the first one didn't suck, so I'll give this one a shot.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Why am I not excited about this at all? I am a terrible fanboy.

I'm with you as a Pixar zombie. They can't fail. Even direct to video Toy Story 2 rocked my world.

Tropic Thunder
I'm in for the Tom Cruise cameo

Torn, so torn. I'll wait till weekend 2 and the rotten tomatoes reviews are in. Remember "my girlfriend is a superhero"? I was the first one to see that. My mistake.

Hellboy 2
I feel exactly the same way. Couldn't stay awake through Pan's Labryinth, so I'll wait for the DVD. Such a shame, since the Mignola comics are constant re-reads for me.

Get Smart
The ads have been simply terrible, I gotta skip it.

The Spirit
Now if only he'd adapt a character I actually cared about.

Great great comic. I sure wish they'd used more than just the name for their adaptation.

I'm going. I love me some hulk smash. I'll just go for popcorn during the sad eyed drama parts I just know Edward Norton is putting into it.

Could this be a bigger yawn fest? Is there some x-file fanbase left? This stuff isn't even in re-runs.

Speed Racer
I can't wait to see how this looks on my big screen TV, but I'm skipping the theater.

The Love Guru
Isn't Mike Myers dead?