Obligatory Summer Movie Preview Post

Because I have a blog, and because I like movies, I feel obligated to join the masses in saying what movies look good and what movies don't. I'm dividing the movies into various categories which are showing me

You Had Me At Teaser Trailer

Iron Man - I already have my ticket.



Standard Operating Procedure - I found out about two weeks after it happened that this played at the AFI Film Festival in Dallas. I am still steamed about this. Errol Morris needs to get as much of the world's money as possible. He does good things with it, like make movies.




Batman Begins Again... er... Batman: The Dark Knight - My problem with Christopher Nolan is that he thinks he is a genius when he is merely very clever. His art films are overly smug and pretentious. However, when he just sets out to do a big dumb summer blockbuster action film, he knocks it out of the park.



Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - You had me at the first announcement of the first press release. Sorry. I am a sucker.



Wall*E - You had me at "untitled Pixar 2008 project." Sorry. I am a sucker.



You Need Positive Word-of-Mouth to Get Me to Go to the Theater

Red Belt - I like the fact that Mamet keeps jumping around genres but remaining essentially Mamet.



Tropic Thunder - I am of the opinion that I don't need to like Ben Stiller because he loves himself enough for both of us. And while this sort of humor normally bothers me, Robert Downey Jr.'s blackface character managed to make me laugh.



Hancock - The teaser trailer left me totally cold. The 'American Idol' preview left me with an impression that this one might actually have a story instead of a series of action-oriented set pieces. Plus, I like the whole idea of equating super heroes with cantankerous sports figures.



Hamlet 2 - I normally don't like films that are loved at Sundance, but this has potential.



You Are One with Netflix


Hellboy 2 - I liked Hellboy, but really hated Pan's Labyrinth. This seems like it will be more of the latter and less of the former.



Get Smart - I don't watch movies based on old television shows. Its a principle thing. (And no, Batman doesn't count because it is based on the comics. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.)



The Spirit - When I saw Sin City, about halfway through the movie, I said to myself, "This is just like the comics. I forgot how much I hate the comics."



Wanted - I really liked Night Watch and sort of tolerated most of Day Watch. But, seriously, this looks like a string of action set pieces with little-to-no story connecting them.



Only if Someone Offers Me Beer


Baby Mama - Seriously people, if you hire Tina Fey as an actress, you also need to hire her to do a script rewrite. Poor word-of-mouth killed this one for me.



Pineapple Express - Read the screenplay thanks to the power of the internet. Not my thing.



Hulk - I am still smarting from the first Hulk movie. Man, that Super Bowl trailer for the first Hulk movie was AWESOME, when Hulk was all THUMPA-DA THUMPA-DA THUMPA-DA and he grabbed the tank by the little tank snout and went WHISSSHEEEE WHOSSSSHHEEEE and spun it around and threw it in the air and the tank was like, "Whoooooaaaaaa! I'm flying, Jack!" Ok, THAT was awesome. I wanted to see the Hulk movie so bad. And then... I saw it. It is what it is, but it was not what I was wanting or expecting. And this is terrible, but when I saw the trailer for this film, all I could think of was, "The Hulk and the Abomination have such huge bodies and such tiny heads."



X-Files - Chris Carter used up my three-strikes-and-you're-out policy almost a decade ago.

The Happening - As much as I love your first initial, M. Night, The Village was strike three.



Speed Racer - As much as I like Wes Anderson, I do not like the trend of "Art Direction and Set Design equals story" that seems to have sprung up in his wake. Oh, and that scene in The Matrix where Trinity says, "I knew you were The One because I love you." Yeah... THAT was Strike One. Guess how your next two movies held up.



Sisterhood of the Mama Traveling Sex in the Mia Pants City Part 2! - I am not the target audience for this.

The Love Guru - No.