Sunday, June 29, 2008

My Lunch with Cyber

One of the advantages of living in the Dallas area is that I am in close proximity to Cyber D. As many of you know, Cyber D, Gyuss Baltaar, and I all went to college together until one fateful night when I left that institute of higher learning, slunk off into the shadows, and began to pursue my sacred destiny of heavy drinking.

Thanks to the power of the internet (specifically Facebook), Cyber D found me and wrote a really nice blog entry about me. A blog entry to which I responded in kind.

Every since these fateful blog entries, we have been talking on and off about meeting for lunch, and after a series of almost-connects, we finally met last week. I showed up early because I told Cyber "look for the man dressed up as a Viking" and I wanted to make sure no other Vikings showed up and forced me to wait outside. (For those of you unaware of this, Dallas has a very strict "one guy dressed up as a Viking per restaurant" city ordinance after it was determined that two or more Vikings eventually led to berserker rages, pillaging, and streets that run red with blood and grog. While cities like Seattle were having a grand ol' time in the 90s with their grunge movement and their flannel, Dallas lived in fear of wild packs of Nordic invaders wielding battle axes. Anyway, I love to dress up as a Viking and listen to Pearl Jam sometimes, just for nostalgia's sake.)

We picked a nice little Mexican restaurant known for its great food and family of vampire-slaying waitresses - a nice quiet place for two guys to reminisce and talk. I looked around, wondering what Cyber now looked like. Maybe he had turned evil and grown a goatee? Maybe he joined the hair club for men and now wore a patch of carpet on the top of his head. Or worse! A patch of carpet with the price tag still attached! The mind reeled.

But then I saw the shiny silver dome of his space helmet and knew within seconds that it was the same ol' Cyber. We embraced in that manly way only a Viking and a man in a silver space outfit can and then sat down to our hearty meal of jalapenos and dipping sauce.

"So, how have you been these past... eight, nine, ten... DARN! I will have to take off my shoes to go any higher, so let's just say TEN years."

"I've been great. I started blogging with a group called 'The Quad'. There are four of us." (At this point, Cyber D did a great thing and held up the appropriate number of fingers so I wouldn't get confused. What a helpful guy, that Cyber D.)

"Wow. Four whole people. That must have been your secret to getting smokin' hot women to read and comment on your blogs all the time. I only started blogging with one person." (I held up a single finger so he would know the number.)

"Was that one person you?"

"You are smart as well as good looking! That is why I've always liked you, Cyber D! Yes it was just me, and now I see how I went wrong. I should have started writing the blog with FOUR people at the beginning, and then the smokin' hot women would have started reading. As it stands now, I have had to graciously accept all of the smokin' hot women from your blog traffic."

"I am sure smokin' hot women read your blog before I linked to you and send over some of my spare Quadness."

"Yes, there were a few, but I am related to all of them. I am automatically disqualified from calling women relatives smokin' hot. If I do that too much, I'll get deported to one of those unmentionable states like Alabama, West Virginia, or Louisiana."

"Yes. I suppose that might cause problems."

"But now that we've reconnected, it is all better." I reached across the table and clasped his hand in a rough, manly, Viking way. Maybe I held it a little too long, because he eventually wrested it away, explaining that he needed it for the dipping sauce.

We talked for a long time, sharing stories that were both epic and exciting. He focused on his space and time adventures while I talked mostly about how the people of Dallas kept mistaking me for a mere barbarian when I was obviously a Viking.

We talked about our blogs and who our secret blog crushes are, but the whole purpose of writing blog entries is to keep things short, so I shall end it here. I am sure Cyber D has his own version of our lunch that he might be willing to share on his blog sometime soon.

7 comments:

NoRegrets said...

Ah, joining in the true spirit of things. Except, how will you boyz ever survive having 5? Odd man out. Or, will you wrestle over who gets Q?

BTW, Beware of repercussions from Susan...just sayin'. Of course, certain states sole existence is based on people maligning them! Take NJ for example. Please. :-)

heather said...

nor, don't worry. when i started calling them the quad it wasn't so much that there was four of them, rather they made me think of a bunch of college guys hanging out on the quad. there have been others who have briefly joined the quad but they didn't stay very long. happily, mrt seems to be a more permanent addition. :-)

mrt, i must ask since i know texas allows residents to carry a concealed weapon, what was your weapon of choice and why? did you feel the need to use it at all or were the two of you allowed to reminisce without hassle?

Gyuss Baaltar said...

Cyber called me with a similar but different version of things. In his version you two got a cheap hotel room and re-kindled things.

M. Robert Turnage said...

Nor, I don't think of myself as a member of The Quad as much as the Dude who Sponges off The Quad. My goal is to be as charming as possible at all times so no one will dismiss me.

Heather, the actual Texas law is that all citizens are REQUIRED TO CARRY a concealed weapon at ALL TIMES. My weapon was of choice was, as always, my +2 Spork of Bewildering. Not only are enemies confused when I wield it, I can use it to eat either soup OR mashed potatoes depending on which restaurant I am in.

Gyuss, one can only hope his fingers stop quivering enough to write his version on his blog.

Cyber D said...

My version has been etched in the stone of ages over at The Wheel in Space. But I doubt I can do the lunch the same type of justice that my counterpart was able to achieve.

Tera said...

Somehow, I knew your story would be slightly...ahem...different from Cybers! And that's right, you weren't around when the Quad was in hot and heavy with the girls in the Female Quad...except I believe there was more than 4 of us...plenty to go around...lots for you to sponge...wait, where was I?

Anyways...yay for reunions! That's great, and you guys had better not lose touch!

InvisibleMarketing said...

The wife is doing root cause analysis RE secret blog crushes.

She does miss the good ol' days when Dallas streets ran red with blood and grog. Ahrrg.

:)