Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Drunken Movie Night

Back in the days of my misspent youth, I was a video store manager. One of the benefits of being a video store manager is that you get to hang out with video store employees ALL THE TIME.

One of the many things we did to entertain ourselves was to have a little event we would call Drunken Movie Night. The rules were simple: 1) We would drink, and 2) We would watch movies.

Video store employees are competitive consumers, and Drunken Movie Night gave us the opportunity to show off our unique and specialized tastes (or general lack of taste, after a few sips of Jack Daniels, one isn't quite as picky).

When Scott Kurtz posted his Candyman story yesterday on PVP, it reminded me of a very special episode of Drunk Movie Night. It was about 2 or 3am, and we were starting our third movie of the evening, Candyman.

For those of you who are uninitiated, the premise of the movie is this - if you look in the mirror and say "Candyman" five times, the Candyman appears and kills you. Sometime during the movie, one of the guys decides to test this out. He goes to the mirror at the end of the hall and starts talking loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Candyman! Candyman! Candyman! Candyman! Candyman! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" And then we hear a string of obscenities.

And we all laugh because 1) It is funny, and 2) His lame attempt to scare us didn't work.

And then he comes out of the hallway, white as a sheet and shivering. He was really scared.

"Something grabbed me."

Now my buddy is a pretty good actor, but he isn't that good. And now the whole group of boozed-up video store employees is a little freaked out. So we decide to go into the hall to find out what the heck really happened. And, because we are still in a state where reality is a bit of a challenge, we decide to flick on hallway the lights first.

And there...

Beneath the mirror...

Licking its teeth...

Looking straight at all of us...

... was his pet cat.

6 comments:

NoRegrets said...

I didn't know cats liked candy.

M. Robert Turnage said...

Oh, they like candy. But they don't want you to know they do. They're cats.

Gyuss Baaltar said...

Drunk or no, there is nothing worse than the long walk down a dark hallway after I watch a scary movie. And a cat running over my feet makes it even worse.

Cyber D said...

My oldest is afraid of cats at the momment. He even wanted his stuffed Bagera doll (from The Jungle Book Movie) to be removed from his pile of bed-time stuffed animals.

Gyuss Baaltar said...

CyberD is bringing that up again?

Geez, I've apologized like a million times for locking Lil' Magnum in that box of feral cats. Yunno, so we could toughen him up.

M. Robert Turnage said...

Your child-raising techniques are tame. When I was a kid, we were sewn up in a bag of feral cats and then thrown into the river.

It put hair on our chests.