I found this hilarious.
From friends of friends. And by "of friends," I mean the Filmspotting podcast.
Showing posts with label filmspotting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label filmspotting. Show all posts
Thursday, September 02, 2010
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Happy Episode #200 Filmspotting
Filmspotting is one of the best film criticism podcasts around. It is one of the three film review podcasts I listen to and the only one I consider actually having some worthwhile film analysis and criticism in it rather than just summarizing/reviewing the film and then giving an arbitrary star rating at the end of an uninsightful ramble.
I really dislike the current state of film criticism. I wish there was some sort of film critic's exam that people had to take and pass to become film critics. And believe me, if I wrote it, people like Rex Reed, Gene Shalit, and half the people on Amazon would not pass.
When I first started listening to Filmspotting with the launch of iTunes 4.9. I want to say the first episode I heard was Cinecast #18. The one where they reviewed Batman Begins. My first impression was that I liked what I heard. The guys on the show seemed like nice enough, intelligent enough people. I wanted to nitpick (they had really similar tastes so there wasn't much discussion, there was a profound lack of female perspective, etc.), but really it was a solid show.
But THEN the guys kept talking more about movies they had NOT seen as opposed to films they actually watched. And some of those films they proudly and stubbornly refused to watch were on my list of minimum requirements for knowing a blessed thing about discussing movies. (Seriously, Gone with the Wind? That's like saying you've never seen The Wizard of Oz.)
So I sent them cantankerous emails, ridiculing them for their profound lack of knowledge. And, to show that I wasn't totally evil, I also sent them donations and gift certificates with little notes like, "Please use this to watch 'Once Upon a Time in the West'." or "How can you pretend to understand the work of Brian de Palma without first learning a thing or two about Hitchcock. Here is some money, please buy yourself an education."
They responded by calling me their Nemesis (or, as Sam liked to call me "Elegant Nemesis") and making fun of me on their show whenever we disagreed on something. Once, Adam even sent me a private email wherein he called me a bastard.
I believe it read as follows:
RT -
You bastard!
Adam
But like with any good back-and-forth, the guys on the show did nice things for me, too. They let me announce on the show my favorite movie of 2006 (Children of Men) and when Adrienne Shelley died, they let me pick my favorite scene of hers to run on the show (it was from Trust and it was the speech about... well, about trust).
Anyway, the culmination of my relationship with the Filmspotting guys happened around episode #166 when Sam pitched a movie about a Steely Dan cover band called Haitian Divorce. I thought it was a smart enough premise and decided to make a screenplay out of it as a Christmas gift to the Filmspotting community. (You can read about it here.)
I didn't really finish the screenplay by Christmas. I got a solid 60-page draft out there and posted it just in time for the holidays. The plan was to flesh it out, get it to the 90 to 100 page range, and repost it by episode #200.
And I sort of made that goal. Episode #200 posted last Friday morning, and here it is Sunday night when I have my draft posted. (It is called Haitian Divorce. Click here to download it.)
Part of me really wishes I was one of the Filmspotting guys. They are living a dream of mine. On some days when I am stuck in meetings I don't want to attend, I daydream about being a globe-trotting film critic, interviewing the likes of Ellen Page and trading witty barbs with that guy who directed Brick. But I can't be one of the guys. The closest I can get is to be their Nemesis.
But, you know what?
It is good to be their Nemesis.
Here's to 200 more shows.
I really dislike the current state of film criticism. I wish there was some sort of film critic's exam that people had to take and pass to become film critics. And believe me, if I wrote it, people like Rex Reed, Gene Shalit, and half the people on Amazon would not pass.
When I first started listening to Filmspotting with the launch of iTunes 4.9. I want to say the first episode I heard was Cinecast #18. The one where they reviewed Batman Begins. My first impression was that I liked what I heard. The guys on the show seemed like nice enough, intelligent enough people. I wanted to nitpick (they had really similar tastes so there wasn't much discussion, there was a profound lack of female perspective, etc.), but really it was a solid show.
But THEN the guys kept talking more about movies they had NOT seen as opposed to films they actually watched. And some of those films they proudly and stubbornly refused to watch were on my list of minimum requirements for knowing a blessed thing about discussing movies. (Seriously, Gone with the Wind? That's like saying you've never seen The Wizard of Oz.)
So I sent them cantankerous emails, ridiculing them for their profound lack of knowledge. And, to show that I wasn't totally evil, I also sent them donations and gift certificates with little notes like, "Please use this to watch 'Once Upon a Time in the West'." or "How can you pretend to understand the work of Brian de Palma without first learning a thing or two about Hitchcock. Here is some money, please buy yourself an education."
They responded by calling me their Nemesis (or, as Sam liked to call me "Elegant Nemesis") and making fun of me on their show whenever we disagreed on something. Once, Adam even sent me a private email wherein he called me a bastard.
I believe it read as follows:
RT -
You bastard!
Adam
But like with any good back-and-forth, the guys on the show did nice things for me, too. They let me announce on the show my favorite movie of 2006 (Children of Men) and when Adrienne Shelley died, they let me pick my favorite scene of hers to run on the show (it was from Trust and it was the speech about... well, about trust).
Anyway, the culmination of my relationship with the Filmspotting guys happened around episode #166 when Sam pitched a movie about a Steely Dan cover band called Haitian Divorce. I thought it was a smart enough premise and decided to make a screenplay out of it as a Christmas gift to the Filmspotting community. (You can read about it here.)
I didn't really finish the screenplay by Christmas. I got a solid 60-page draft out there and posted it just in time for the holidays. The plan was to flesh it out, get it to the 90 to 100 page range, and repost it by episode #200.
And I sort of made that goal. Episode #200 posted last Friday morning, and here it is Sunday night when I have my draft posted. (It is called Haitian Divorce. Click here to download it.)
Part of me really wishes I was one of the Filmspotting guys. They are living a dream of mine. On some days when I am stuck in meetings I don't want to attend, I daydream about being a globe-trotting film critic, interviewing the likes of Ellen Page and trading witty barbs with that guy who directed Brick. But I can't be one of the guys. The closest I can get is to be their Nemesis.
But, you know what?
It is good to be their Nemesis.
Here's to 200 more shows.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Merry Christmas Filmspotting Listeners
Merry Christmas fellow Filmspotting Listeners!
For those of you who need me to explain the elaborate in-joke, here it is.
In episode #166 of Filmspotting somewhere in the 50:13-1:01:50 point, Sam van Hallgren pitched a movie idea to the ether, hoping the forces in the universe would somehow make it so. This movie was entitled Haitian Divorce. (You can go here and scroll down some to see a nifty little poster for it.)
In a mad fervor brought on by lots of caffeine, sugar, and Dance Dance Revolution, a 62-page-third-act-is-missing script for Haitian Divorce somehow appeared on my computer.
And now, here it is for your enjoyment.
Haitian Divorce
For those of you who need me to explain the elaborate in-joke, here it is.
In episode #166 of Filmspotting somewhere in the 50:13-1:01:50 point, Sam van Hallgren pitched a movie idea to the ether, hoping the forces in the universe would somehow make it so. This movie was entitled Haitian Divorce. (You can go here and scroll down some to see a nifty little poster for it.)
In a mad fervor brought on by lots of caffeine, sugar, and Dance Dance Revolution, a 62-page-third-act-is-missing script for Haitian Divorce somehow appeared on my computer.
And now, here it is for your enjoyment.
Haitian Divorce
Thursday, May 10, 2007
In Defense of Film Snobbery
Background information:
Balding Angrily Alex recently wrote a typo-laden article for the Filmspotting newsletter, The Dope Sheet.
Normally, this would not be cause for alarm, except for the fact that he came out and called me a Film Snob. And just recently, MichaelVox on the Cinebanter podcast (Show # 26 to be exact) ALSO called me a Film Snob.
Personally, I don't think anyone with Xanadu
in his film collection qualifies as an out-and-out Film Snob.
However, seeing how the gauntlet was thrown down at my feet (or, more accurately, directly at my face), I decided to write a rebuttal.
It appears in this week's edition of The Dope Sheet.
And I share it with you here.
The Joys of Film Snobbery
Film Snobs get a bad rap. We are the people who drone on and on about lighting and symbolism, often using words like "droll." We berate you for laughing at Will Ferrell; we peer down our nose at you when Tom Hanks is mentioned; and we only like directors whose names you can't pronounce. We suck all the joy out of your love of movies. We are the proverbial downers.
What gives? The best way to describe the Film Snob situation is to liken it to the great con game we call golf. No one likes golf; it is a terrible affront to all things living. It barely qualifies as a sport. But to point out the obvious is to confess that you don't know "the secret handshake of the rich and powerful." That's right. By perpetuating the myth that golf is vaguely interesting -- maybe even going as far as to say that golf makes your toes tingle -- there is a good chance you will get invited to a Country Club. Country Clubs are incredible places where food is plentiful and the rich and beautiful just lounge around, looking for someone to financially subsidize and/or marry. All you have to do to be a part of this exclusive club is to rhapsodize for at least 20 minutes about your grip and the power of your backswing.
Film Snobbery is a secret handshake in the film community. When you are a Film Snob, doors open up to you, allowing you into a cinematic Country Club. Directors mention you on their commentary tracks. Movie marketing reps send you to test screenings. People you don't know shovel piles of DVDs into your car, whispering things like, "I think you'll like these Asian imports. They're very symbolic."
"Very symbolic" is Film Snob code word for "lots of boobies and swears." In fact, 99.9% of all of the high-minded Film Snobbery jargon roughly translates to "lots of boobies and swears." "Boy, that actress gave a brave performance," means, "that movie has lots of boobies and swears." So does, "She is willing to go to a dark place." Seriously, next time you hear a Film Snob say, "I really enjoyed the cinematography," what the Film Snob means is "Dude, there were a lot of boobies and swears."
But how will your social standing be if you used the words "boobies and swears" all the time? As in, "Hey, let's all go out to the theater and check out a long series of boobies and swears? It'll be fun!" That may fly in various fraternity houses, but the real world is a little trickier.
So a Film Snob lexicon was developed. Please allow me to demonstrate how it works.
One time, I wanted to see "Species," a movie that practically guaranteed to be chock full of boobies and swears. My girlfriend-at-the-time told me no way, that we shouldn't see it because it (and I quote) "looks stupid."
"Oh no. It is really a feminist treatise on the plight of the female identity in a contemporary society. The alien monster protagonist is the personification of a cultural anxiety that results in a conflict between societal pressures and a genetic determinism that forces women into dual-yet-conflicting roles of both mother and sex object. The monster-movie veneer is simply to trick the populace into consuming these culturally-challenging and cutting edge ideas. It is very deep and has a rich subtext. I understand Natasha Henstridge gives a very brave performance throughout the film. She is an actress willing to take it to a dark place."
After the movie, she was livid. "What do you mean 'feminist treatise'? It was nothing but a bunch of boobies and swears!"
"You have got to be kidding me??!!! There was a rich subtext to it. Didn't you notice the cinematography? They were ON A TRAIN for cryin' out loud! It was symbolism!"
At that moment, one-half of a nearby couple pointed to me and went, "See honey! He saw the symbolism, too! You can't tell me there wasn't any!" Yes, it was another Film Snob.
Like wild loons responding to a mating call, the Film Snob and I quickly huddled together, sharing innermost thoughts about brave actresses willing to go to a dark place. By the end of our Film Snob conversation, I had a handful of free movie passes, a stack of import Asian DVDs, and a book-length essay by Lars von Trier about the sheer drollness of Meg Ryan.
Truly, that was one of the best nights of my life. The only thing that could have made it better was if I had a chance to talk about my backswing. Maybe then I would have been invited to the Country Club.
Balding Angrily Alex recently wrote a typo-laden article for the Filmspotting newsletter, The Dope Sheet.
Normally, this would not be cause for alarm, except for the fact that he came out and called me a Film Snob. And just recently, MichaelVox on the Cinebanter podcast (Show # 26 to be exact) ALSO called me a Film Snob.
Personally, I don't think anyone with Xanadu
in his film collection qualifies as an out-and-out Film Snob. However, seeing how the gauntlet was thrown down at my feet (or, more accurately, directly at my face), I decided to write a rebuttal.
It appears in this week's edition of The Dope Sheet.
And I share it with you here.
The Joys of Film Snobbery
Film Snobs get a bad rap. We are the people who drone on and on about lighting and symbolism, often using words like "droll." We berate you for laughing at Will Ferrell
; we peer down our nose at you when Tom Hanks is mentioned; and we only like directors whose names you can't pronounce. We suck all the joy out of your love of movies. We are the proverbial downers.What gives? The best way to describe the Film Snob situation is to liken it to the great con game we call golf
. No one likes golf; it is a terrible affront to all things living. It barely qualifies as a sport. But to point out the obvious is to confess that you don't know "the secret handshake of the rich and powerful." That's right. By perpetuating the myth that golf is vaguely interesting -- maybe even going as far as to say that golf makes your toes tingle -- there is a good chance you will get invited to a Country Club. Country Clubs are incredible places where food is plentiful and the rich and beautiful just lounge around, looking for someone to financially subsidize and/or marry. All you have to do to be a part of this exclusive club is to rhapsodize for at least 20 minutes about your grip and the power of your backswing.Film Snobbery is a secret handshake in the film community. When you are a Film Snob, doors open up to you, allowing you into a cinematic Country Club. Directors mention you on their commentary tracks. Movie marketing reps send you to test screenings. People you don't know shovel piles of DVDs into your car, whispering things like, "I think you'll like these Asian imports. They're very symbolic."
"Very symbolic" is Film Snob code word for "lots of boobies and swears." In fact, 99.9% of all of the high-minded Film Snobbery jargon roughly translates to "lots of boobies and swears." "Boy, that actress gave a brave performance
," means, "that movie has lots of boobies and swears." So does, "She is willing to go to a dark place." Seriously, next time you hear a Film Snob say, "I really enjoyed the cinematography," what the Film Snob means is "Dude, there were a lot of boobies and swears."But how will your social standing be if you used the words "boobies and swears" all the time? As in, "Hey, let's all go out to the theater and check out a long series of boobies and swears? It'll be fun!" That may fly in various fraternity houses, but the real world is a little trickier.
So a Film Snob lexicon was developed. Please allow me to demonstrate how it works.
One time, I wanted to see "Species
," a movie that practically guaranteed to be chock full of boobies and swears. My girlfriend-at-the-time told me no way, that we shouldn't see it because it (and I quote) "looks stupid.""Oh no. It is really a feminist treatise on the plight of the female identity in a contemporary society. The alien monster protagonist is the personification of a cultural anxiety that results in a conflict between societal pressures and a genetic determinism that forces women into dual-yet-conflicting roles of both mother and sex object. The monster-movie veneer is simply to trick the populace into consuming these culturally-challenging and cutting edge ideas. It is very deep and has a rich subtext. I understand Natasha Henstridge
gives a very brave performance throughout the film. She is an actress willing to take it to a dark place."After the movie, she was livid. "What do you mean 'feminist treatise'? It was nothing but a bunch of boobies and swears!"
"You have got to be kidding me??!!! There was a rich subtext to it. Didn't you notice the cinematography? They were ON A TRAIN for cryin' out loud! It was symbolism!"
At that moment, one-half of a nearby couple pointed to me and went, "See honey! He saw the symbolism, too! You can't tell me there wasn't any!" Yes, it was another Film Snob.
Like wild loons responding to a mating call, the Film Snob and I quickly huddled together, sharing innermost thoughts about brave actresses willing to go to a dark place. By the end of our Film Snob conversation, I had a handful of free movie passes, a stack of import Asian DVDs, and a book-length essay by Lars von Trier
about the sheer drollness of Meg Ryan.Truly, that was one of the best nights of my life. The only thing that could have made it better was if I had a chance to talk about my backswing. Maybe then I would have been invited to the Country Club.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
I have been remiss in sharing all of my internet exploits!
The educational podcast continues!
And look! The students are getting their photos posted on the blog.
I also made it onto the Filmspotting year-end show, and the Filmspotting guys did a great job of giving me billing over Ira Glass. What is up with that?
If you want to hear just my little contribution to the podcast, it is here.
Note: Although I really liked Children of Men, it made my wife sick. The handheld camerawork made her nauseous and the violence was too much. So if you don’t like the movie, there is someone in the household who is on your side.
And look! The students are getting their photos posted on the blog.
I also made it onto the Filmspotting year-end show, and the Filmspotting guys did a great job of giving me billing over Ira Glass. What is up with that?
If you want to hear just my little contribution to the podcast, it is here.
Note: Although I really liked Children of Men, it made my wife sick. The handheld camerawork made her nauseous and the violence was too much. So if you don’t like the movie, there is someone in the household who is on your side.
Friday, December 08, 2006
Apparently, I am the Nemesis of Filmspotting
According to Filmspotting #139 (just at the one hour mark), I am the nemesis of the show. And my attempts at constructing sentences result in run-ons.
I am not quite sure what to do with this new position. My guess is now that I am officially a nemesis, I will finally have the motivation to build that underground lair I've always wanted. And once I have it, I can get a pit and fill it with cyborg crocidiles and other freaks of nature in hopes of luring Adam and Sam into my sinister clutches.
Yes! That is it! I will rely on elaborate traps and schemes - perhaps convincing them that they are invited to a special screening of 'Apocalypse Now Redux REDUX' - The Never Before Seen Longer than Long version - NOW WITH MORE BULL-SLAUGHTERING SYMBOLISM! - and then springing a diabolical-yet-undetermined-trap on them.
Once in my clutches, they will be forced to watch repeated viewings of 'The Lake House,' 'The Wild Bunch,' and 'Sin City: The Extended Edition' until they bicker and banter so much that their incredible podcast chemistry falters and fades. Once that happens, I will reveal my own podcast, MovieWatching or CineSeeing or some elusive noun-gerund combination, where I discuss movies with Mr. Binky, my sock puppet. Every episode we will list off the same Top 5 films, but will present them in a different order each time, so the audience won't catch on to what we are doing. We will rule the podcast-film-reviewing community, Mr. Binky and I. And after that, THE WORLD!
MWU-HA-HA-HA!
Aw, who am I kidding? I'll probably just send them an email, telling them how much I love the show, how much I wish I were as cool as them, and how I don't get out much. Then I'll send them donations in hopes that Sam gives me a cool nickname.
*sigh*
Well played, Filmspotting guys. Foiled again.
I am not quite sure what to do with this new position. My guess is now that I am officially a nemesis, I will finally have the motivation to build that underground lair I've always wanted. And once I have it, I can get a pit and fill it with cyborg crocidiles and other freaks of nature in hopes of luring Adam and Sam into my sinister clutches.
Yes! That is it! I will rely on elaborate traps and schemes - perhaps convincing them that they are invited to a special screening of 'Apocalypse Now Redux REDUX' - The Never Before Seen Longer than Long version - NOW WITH MORE BULL-SLAUGHTERING SYMBOLISM! - and then springing a diabolical-yet-undetermined-trap on them.
Once in my clutches, they will be forced to watch repeated viewings of 'The Lake House,' 'The Wild Bunch,' and 'Sin City: The Extended Edition' until they bicker and banter so much that their incredible podcast chemistry falters and fades. Once that happens, I will reveal my own podcast, MovieWatching or CineSeeing or some elusive noun-gerund combination, where I discuss movies with Mr. Binky, my sock puppet. Every episode we will list off the same Top 5 films, but will present them in a different order each time, so the audience won't catch on to what we are doing. We will rule the podcast-film-reviewing community, Mr. Binky and I. And after that, THE WORLD!
MWU-HA-HA-HA!
Aw, who am I kidding? I'll probably just send them an email, telling them how much I love the show, how much I wish I were as cool as them, and how I don't get out much. Then I'll send them donations in hopes that Sam gives me a cool nickname.
*sigh*
Well played, Filmspotting guys. Foiled again.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Podcasts I Like: Home-Grown Podcasts
In theory, I run a podcast on this blog. I haven’t made an entry in awhile, but that doesn’t mean I’m not involved in the podcast community. Mainly, my participation is limited to listening. And sometimes, like in this and the next few blog entries entries, I list them out for the world to see.
I’ve divided my main list into categories for easy consumption. This list is comprised of my favorite home-grown podcasts. These are podcasts started by people not associated with the mass media industry. Some are more professional sounding with others, but all contain the goodness of regular people taking the power of media into their own hands.
- Filmspotting / Reel Reviews – I love movies, and these are the two best movie podcasts out there. Filmspotting is the better of the two, primarily because it comes out on a regular basis and it is more of a conversation about current films rather than a monologue/gush about one particular film.
- Rocketboom – This is a Monday to Friday daily video podcast starring Joanne Colan. To be completely honest, I had not even heard of it until the original hostess, Amanda Congdon, left the show in a flurry of publicity. The show is fairly random, focusing on “whatever we discovered that is neat today.” There is some techie news, some political news, some internet news, and some silly stuff (like Joanne wandering around
- AlterEgo / Comic Pants – These are both podcasts by a bunch of guys in a comic shop and it sounds like… like a bunch of guys hanging out in a comic shop. These podcasts are about an hour long each and are really fun for the niche market that is the uber goober crowd.
- Winecast – Tim Elliott loves to talk about wine, and his passion inspires me to care more about wine. This podcast has a special place in my heart, because through it, I found my favorite winery – Humanitas Wines.
- Thing a Week – Jonathan Coulton puts out a song a week, more or less. For whatever reason, I forgot to include him in my monster music blog entry. There is some really great stuff here.
Next entry – tech podcasts!
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