Another Conversation I Didn't Enjoy Having

"Yeah. She's all right."

"What do you mean, 'She's all right'. Dude, she is totally hot!"

"She's ok. I'll give her cute, but I have to disqualify her because she looks too much like her dad."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Whenever I see a woman who looks like her father, I do not find her attractive. It is this thing with me."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. And I don't like talking about because I usually get into pointless arguments about allegedly hot women."

"Like who?"

"Angelina Jolie."

"No way! Get out of here!"

"I'm serious. That is Jon Voight with breasts. I do not find her attractive in the slightest. Same goes for Liv Tyler."

"You're killing me, man. She was in Lord of the Frikkin' Rings."

"And the whole time, I was going, 'Oh, good Lord they cast Stephen Tyler playing that woman's role? Why would Viggo want to kiss that dude looks like a lady guy?'"

"What about my daughter? She looks just like me, and she is the most beautiful woman in the world."

"Your kid is cute, but I do not find her attractive for two reasons. One, she looks just like you and, two, she is only three."

"If we continue this conversation, you're going to get seriously hurt."