I am a member of the
Dallas Screenwriter's Association.
At our last meeting, our speaker was late, so we took turn pitching script ideas to each other.
This was a lot of fun, although the #1 question after each pitch dealt with the genre of a movie. Apparently, we are at the point where any plot can be in any genre.
For example: "A professional assassin falls in love with a woman while under a fake identity. So he's lying to her about who she is. One night before a date, she witnesses one of his assassinations. She doesn't realize it is him, but all of a sudden he has been paid to kill her. Does he reveal his secret identity to her and invite her into his organization? Does he go on the run with her and put his life in jeopardy? Or does he just say 'Aw, screw it,' and kill her."
"Sounds like a great action adventure!"
"Um... its a comedy."
They were all like that.
Last night, when working on my
ScriptFrenzy script, I got an idea for another movie. This often happens - my brain's way of procrastination is to come up with new ideas before I finish my first one. Anyway, I will never write this script. Ever.
So seriously, anyone out here who wants to develop this idea into a script, be my guest.
Mittens: The Presidential CatTrevor wanted to be a writer. Instead, he became a lawyer. He was the best, most weaselly lawyer ever. He even worked his way into the most corrupt place imaginable - the White House! But deep down inside, he still wanted to be a writer. He secretly writes legal briefings in iambic pentameter and makes wicked allusions to the works of John Cheever whenever he can.
Then one day, the Presidential Press Relations needed someone to write the authorized biography of
Mittens, the White House Cat. Knowing about Trevor's secret passion, the cute press secretary thinks she is doing him a favor. She does not know that to write a bland life story about a cute and fuzzy moppet, Trevor will need a soul.
So Trevor decides to bond with the fluffball and grow a soul. This does not work because it turns out that Mittens ithe most ill-tempered, mean, and nastiest cat around. Whenever Trevor extends the warm hand of friendship, Mittens decides to keep a finger as a trophy.
Meanwhile, a group of dog-loving cat-hating radicals decide that the nation's love of Mittens has gone too far. Why does the President have a cat, anyway? Aren't dog's better and friendlier? And now the cat is putting out an autobiography? The world no longer makes any sense.
So these radicals decide to kidnap Mittens.
They succeed.
Trevor doesn't know what to do. He has lost Mittens, and will surely suffer the wrath when that is discovered. ("They'll bring back the guillotine for me!" he laments.) So he buys a replacement cat who looks almost like Mittens, but not quite, and goes on a quest for the stolen cat.
Meanwhile Mittens is wreaking havoc on the lives of its cat-nappers. Eventually, though, he warms their hearts and they grow to love him and his mouse-and-bird-killing ways.
Right when they do, Trevor shows up for the showdown.
What will happen next? Will Trevor get the cat back? Will the President decide to keep the Fake Mittens? Will Trevor ever write the book of his dreams? Will a studio option this idea for $1,000,0000? who knows?
Oh, and it is supposed to be a comedy.
