Here is the link.
And here is the photo of the book cover.
Showing posts with label screenplay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label screenplay. Show all posts
Monday, February 01, 2010
The Book is on Amazon!
FYI after weeks of emailing and filling out forms and general wrangling, the book is now available on Amazon.com.
Here is the link.
And here is the photo of the book cover.
Here is the link.
And here is the photo of the book cover.
Sunday, July 06, 2008
This Month's Shameless Self Promotion
On Tuesday, July 8th, there is another Dallas Screenwriters Association Scene Reading at the Half Price Books on Northwest Highway here in Dallas.
Part of the agenda should include pages 11 through 21 of my work-in-progress, Not Again.
Last month's reading was incredible - I was really inspired by the actors and actresses, and they said nice things about my ten-page sample.
I also was told I shouldn't be putting all sorts of my writing on the internet for free for anyone to read and plagiarize. I don't totally agree with this attitude, for reasons I might get into in a later blog post, but I've decided to comply and stop posting this particular work-in-progress script on the blog.
So.
To hear the rest of the screenplay, you will have to attend the DSA Scene readings over the next eight or nine months.
Blogging will be light this week - the non-internet portion of my life is going to be really, really busy.
Part of the agenda should include pages 11 through 21 of my work-in-progress, Not Again.
Last month's reading was incredible - I was really inspired by the actors and actresses, and they said nice things about my ten-page sample.
I also was told I shouldn't be putting all sorts of my writing on the internet for free for anyone to read and plagiarize. I don't totally agree with this attitude, for reasons I might get into in a later blog post, but I've decided to comply and stop posting this particular work-in-progress script on the blog.
So.
To hear the rest of the screenplay, you will have to attend the DSA Scene readings over the next eight or nine months.
Blogging will be light this week - the non-internet portion of my life is going to be really, really busy.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Surprisingly Good Criticism from Slamdance
Several months ago, I wrote a short film screenplay, that I happened to like. I entered it in a few contests and got bummed out because it didn't even place.
So I submitted the almost very same short film screenplay (except I changed the "Working" in the title to the folksier "Workin'") to the Slamdance Film Festival and paid the extra few dollars for some feedback. I consider it money well spent. The reviewer even quoted Thoreau, which is always a plus.
I like this feedback so much, I don't mind so much if the script doesn't win, place or show. There are always more scripts and more contests.
So... here is the screenplay.
And here is the feedback:
Slamdance Screenplay Competition
Coverage for Workin' Girl (Reader #55031)
Evaluation:
Melissa is a struggling actress who works as a waitress to pay the bills. The first act (pages 1 - 5) essentially works at developing her character and does so efficiently. The first conflict arrises when her boss gives her a double shift and she must A) convince him to let her out B) make the audition with the time given her. It's a race against the clock and because of the earlier character build up showing just how much she wants to act, the tension is palpable. Act two is the audition. Melissa sees a coworker there - a young ditz with little passion or respect for the craft. That she has no talent as an actress will, ironically, be dependant on the performance of the young woman who plays the character. Following the audition, Shannon gives Melissa a ride back to work. Act three is the reveal: Melissa got a role! But not the one she wanted. That went to Shannon and so stamps the film with the old addage: "Nobody said life is fair." It's not, clearly. Here lies the largest conflict for the main character: give in or keep trying? Thankfully Melissa keeps trying, but in such a way that we are never told explicitly that things will be okay, but rather a message is hinted that the true value contained in life is not the achievement but the trying. Ultimately, this provides a beautiful end to an deftly handled but otherwise traditional story.
What works:
The writer is to be congratulated in the way by which they reveal the character of Melissa in the opening act. Little things like the different accent for each table and the "campaign" for more hours are good ways of illustrating her as hard working, creative, and in need of money. She say a lot without saying a lot, which is one of the primary rules of good writing and the author does that exceptionally well here. The End: This isn't the first script written about a struggling actor, nor will it be the last. What sets this one apart from the bunch is not just the lack of happy ending / resolution, but the characters heartwarming desire to push on. It's a banner for hardwork and optimism which can come across as sentimental and "light" if done poorly, but can also come across as inspirational and real, when done well, as it is done here.
What doesn't work:
Something abstract and something simple. Your biggest issue lies with originality. That isn't to say that this is not a unique piece of writing. It is. But it retains the frame work of the traditional "struggling actor story." Luckily your characters excede this limitation, but the confines of a 10 page script still hold them back. Consider a wider scope in a future draft. There are a few instances where the author allows potential plot twists and turns to go unrealized. It's not something that is done wrong per se, just something which could be done better. The piece is extremely tight, but in some instances that actually works against you. As an experiment, consider everything that could possibly go wrong in Melissa's day and write that in. The boss says No. The scooter gets a flat, runs out of gas. She leaves her makeup behind. Arrives late. Wrong building etc. Etc. You provide plenty of internal hurdles for the character, now provide a few more external ones.
How it can be improved:
The most basic element is originality. Of course, every story has been told before so you're not likely to write something entirely new. However, the script as it is has enough going for it that it could stand to benefit from a longer draft with a deeper more personal exploration of the characters. Not to get too academic here, but Henry David Thoreau said something once that I (if I may use the singular) always liked: "...for if he has lived sincerely, it must have been in a distant land to me." In other words, the author in encouraged to allow themselves the time and leeway to make a fully personal realization of the character which have up until now been sketched in compelling but still broad outlines. You may perhaps do a rewrite of it in a pilot format (roughly 30 pages). As it is and with the ending you've allowed, it may make for an interesting TV show. Also, a small thing: you may consider using the second shift as a more dynamic hurdle to be overcome. Some maneuvering and scheming might add to the sense of urgency and keep the audience on their seat for just those extra few minutes.
Next step:
This reader's reccomendation: do a rewrite as a thirty page pilot. This is much more likely to be noticed as a TV show than as a short.
So I submitted the almost very same short film screenplay (except I changed the "Working" in the title to the folksier "Workin'") to the Slamdance Film Festival and paid the extra few dollars for some feedback. I consider it money well spent. The reviewer even quoted Thoreau, which is always a plus.
I like this feedback so much, I don't mind so much if the script doesn't win, place or show. There are always more scripts and more contests.
So... here is the screenplay.
And here is the feedback:
Slamdance Screenplay Competition
Coverage for Workin' Girl (Reader #55031)
Evaluation:
Melissa is a struggling actress who works as a waitress to pay the bills. The first act (pages 1 - 5) essentially works at developing her character and does so efficiently. The first conflict arrises when her boss gives her a double shift and she must A) convince him to let her out B) make the audition with the time given her. It's a race against the clock and because of the earlier character build up showing just how much she wants to act, the tension is palpable. Act two is the audition. Melissa sees a coworker there - a young ditz with little passion or respect for the craft. That she has no talent as an actress will, ironically, be dependant on the performance of the young woman who plays the character. Following the audition, Shannon gives Melissa a ride back to work. Act three is the reveal: Melissa got a role! But not the one she wanted. That went to Shannon and so stamps the film with the old addage: "Nobody said life is fair." It's not, clearly. Here lies the largest conflict for the main character: give in or keep trying? Thankfully Melissa keeps trying, but in such a way that we are never told explicitly that things will be okay, but rather a message is hinted that the true value contained in life is not the achievement but the trying. Ultimately, this provides a beautiful end to an deftly handled but otherwise traditional story.
What works:
The writer is to be congratulated in the way by which they reveal the character of Melissa in the opening act. Little things like the different accent for each table and the "campaign" for more hours are good ways of illustrating her as hard working, creative, and in need of money. She say a lot without saying a lot, which is one of the primary rules of good writing and the author does that exceptionally well here. The End: This isn't the first script written about a struggling actor, nor will it be the last. What sets this one apart from the bunch is not just the lack of happy ending / resolution, but the characters heartwarming desire to push on. It's a banner for hardwork and optimism which can come across as sentimental and "light" if done poorly, but can also come across as inspirational and real, when done well, as it is done here.
What doesn't work:
Something abstract and something simple. Your biggest issue lies with originality. That isn't to say that this is not a unique piece of writing. It is. But it retains the frame work of the traditional "struggling actor story." Luckily your characters excede this limitation, but the confines of a 10 page script still hold them back. Consider a wider scope in a future draft. There are a few instances where the author allows potential plot twists and turns to go unrealized. It's not something that is done wrong per se, just something which could be done better. The piece is extremely tight, but in some instances that actually works against you. As an experiment, consider everything that could possibly go wrong in Melissa's day and write that in. The boss says No. The scooter gets a flat, runs out of gas. She leaves her makeup behind. Arrives late. Wrong building etc. Etc. You provide plenty of internal hurdles for the character, now provide a few more external ones.
How it can be improved:
The most basic element is originality. Of course, every story has been told before so you're not likely to write something entirely new. However, the script as it is has enough going for it that it could stand to benefit from a longer draft with a deeper more personal exploration of the characters. Not to get too academic here, but Henry David Thoreau said something once that I (if I may use the singular) always liked: "...for if he has lived sincerely, it must have been in a distant land to me." In other words, the author in encouraged to allow themselves the time and leeway to make a fully personal realization of the character which have up until now been sketched in compelling but still broad outlines. You may perhaps do a rewrite of it in a pilot format (roughly 30 pages). As it is and with the ending you've allowed, it may make for an interesting TV show. Also, a small thing: you may consider using the second shift as a more dynamic hurdle to be overcome. Some maneuvering and scheming might add to the sense of urgency and keep the audience on their seat for just those extra few minutes.
Next step:
This reader's reccomendation: do a rewrite as a thirty page pilot. This is much more likely to be noticed as a TV show than as a short.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Where I will Be This Saturday
Hello all. You have registered for La Reunion Workshop at the MAC!
Please be there at 10:45 AM to check in and get a good seat. The
workshop will last until 5 PM. Presenters are professionals in their
field and a wonderful cross-pollination of ideas and techniques will be
presented between scriptwriting for comic books, film, and plays.
Lunch will be provided by Tin Star, and I have ordered vegetarian,
chicken, and beef options as well as chips and salsa.
After the workshop, there will be an evening get-together at the
fabulous Belmont Hotel located in Oak Cliff. Directions to the Belmont
will be available in the workshop program. We will have poolside
access and a gorgeous view of downtown Dallas to reflect on the day
and have post-workshop conversation. This will be from 7 PM to 9:30
PM.
Please don't hesitate to let David Hopkins or me know if you have any
questions about the workshop or post workshop reception. We look
forward to meeting you all and having a great time on Saturday.
sarah jane semrad
executive director
www.LaReunionTX.org
Please be there at 10:45 AM to check in and get a good seat. The
workshop will last until 5 PM. Presenters are professionals in their
field and a wonderful cross-pollination of ideas and techniques will be
presented between scriptwriting for comic books, film, and plays.
Lunch will be provided by Tin Star, and I have ordered vegetarian,
chicken, and beef options as well as chips and salsa.
After the workshop, there will be an evening get-together at the
fabulous Belmont Hotel located in Oak Cliff. Directions to the Belmont
will be available in the workshop program. We will have poolside
access and a gorgeous view of downtown Dallas to reflect on the day
and have post-workshop conversation. This will be from 7 PM to 9:30
PM.
Please don't hesitate to let David Hopkins or me know if you have any
questions about the workshop or post workshop reception. We look
forward to meeting you all and having a great time on Saturday.
sarah jane semrad
executive director
www.LaReunionTX.org
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Portfolio Piece - The Office Script
I found the secret to getting a promotion in corporate America - do the job for free for at least a year. Corporate guilt doesn't exist unless you possess numbers that shame, and the only way to get numbers is to get an annual comparison of some sort.
No one will listen to you until you have to have the ability to say, "Look at these numbers! I've been saving this company x amount of dollars for a year and haven't gotten compensated for it. I need a raise/promotion or I'll have to go someplace else that pays me what I'm worth."
This principle applies everywhere, especially in entertainment corporations. If you want to write for a TV show, the only thing you can do is write a spec script. Then you develop a portfolio of writing that is recognizable and exciting.
And since I practice what I preach, I'm including in this blog post a spec scrip for the popular television show, The Office.
The Office - "Vacation Day"
No one will listen to you until you have to have the ability to say, "Look at these numbers! I've been saving this company x amount of dollars for a year and haven't gotten compensated for it. I need a raise/promotion or I'll have to go someplace else that pays me what I'm worth."
This principle applies everywhere, especially in entertainment corporations. If you want to write for a TV show, the only thing you can do is write a spec script. Then you develop a portfolio of writing that is recognizable and exciting.
And since I practice what I preach, I'm including in this blog post a spec scrip for the popular television show, The Office.
The Office - "Vacation Day"
Making Lemonade IV - Not Suitable for Children
Most of my scripts stay in the safe comfortable PG to PG-13 area.
Not this one. You have been warned.
This screenplay has a long, rich history that I do now want to mull over right now. But here is the summary - I wrote this screenplay originally to submit to the Sundance Film Festival.
I am definitely not a fan of most of the product that comes out of Sundance. Sundance films tend to be dull and formuliac, but are stuffed full of unnecessary pedophilia, incest, or necrophilia in a desperate attempt to be "edgy."
So, I thought, as an artistic experiment, I would write a Sundance screenplay. It would be true to my particular voice, and deal with issues I care about, but somehow I could manage to cram all of that of Sundance nonsense into it.
So here you go.
Intimate Objects Screenplay
Not this one. You have been warned.
This screenplay has a long, rich history that I do now want to mull over right now. But here is the summary - I wrote this screenplay originally to submit to the Sundance Film Festival.
I am definitely not a fan of most of the product that comes out of Sundance. Sundance films tend to be dull and formuliac, but are stuffed full of unnecessary pedophilia, incest, or necrophilia in a desperate attempt to be "edgy."
So, I thought, as an artistic experiment, I would write a Sundance screenplay. It would be true to my particular voice, and deal with issues I care about, but somehow I could manage to cram all of that of Sundance nonsense into it.
So here you go.
Intimate Objects Screenplay
Making Lemonade II - More lemonade...
I attend an art group, but I never seem to show up with material to present to the group.
So one afternoon before the meeting, I dashed off this short film screenplay. The art group seemed to like it, so I entered it in the Screenwriting Expo contest. It didn't make it to the quarterfinals, so- Hey look! I found some blog content.
The working title I had for this was, "Oceans 11, but with idiots." Because you don't rob a bank for the money, you rob a bank to get a woman to fall back in love with you.
Eight Days After screenplay
So one afternoon before the meeting, I dashed off this short film screenplay. The art group seemed to like it, so I entered it in the Screenwriting Expo contest. It didn't make it to the quarterfinals, so- Hey look! I found some blog content.
The working title I had for this was, "Oceans 11, but with idiots." Because you don't rob a bank for the money, you rob a bank to get a woman to fall back in love with you.
Eight Days After screenplay
Making lemonade...
So there is this Screenwriting Expo going on in October. And they're giving away free passes to winners of this Screenwriting Expo writing contest.
Since I like free things, I entered four short film screenplays.
Sadly for me, none of them even placed. They didn't even make it into the top 25%.
Happily, they can now go onto the blog when I'm too busy to make a real entry.
So here you go, the screenplay for the short film Rough Draft.
Since I like free things, I entered four short film screenplays.
Sadly for me, none of them even placed. They didn't even make it into the top 25%.
Happily, they can now go onto the blog when I'm too busy to make a real entry.
So here you go, the screenplay for the short film Rough Draft.
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